the journey of a butterfly

khaliah's journey with sjs/ten

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The Butterfly Blog

Welcome to my blog!  

 

I hope you enjoy reading about my journey and learn more information about SJS/TEN.  

 

Two Types of People.

By Khaliah, Jul 14 2014 06:35AM


There’s two groups of people in my world. Those that knew me before SJS and those who have only known me since SJS. And normally I have always felt and acted differently around those who have only known me since. But what I realized is that there are people that love me who have only seen me in this face. I have changed a tremendous amount physically, but I have changed emotionally even more. I feel like an entirely different person some days. But somehow through all my mess, some people just see…me. I don’t understand this. It’s weird because it’s all I have ever wanted…for people to love me for who I truly am…and that’s what happening…but it’s weird. Only because it’s so different from what I am used to. I have always stood on the side of the people who knew me before, because they have seen what I thought was the real me and am watching me transition back to the familiar. As this is what I have thought too…because I knew me before. But the post SJS group is seeing my transformation backwards. I never really thought about this from the perspective of someone who has only known me as what I am today and they are watching me transform into something they have never seen before! This whole experience has humbled me in ways I never thought I would be humble. And just when I thought I had learned the lesson, the unexpected happened.


It’s hard enough to try to get regular people to see past my skin. So naturally, I assumed it would be even harder to get a guy to see past it. So very early on in this journey, I decided to put dating on the back burner…more like put it back in the deep freezer…in the basement. I NEVER expected any guy to want to date me while I am going through this crazy transformation journey because let’s face it…our society says appearance is everything, and if not everything then 97% of it! It VERY rare that relationships start with “hey, that girl has a BANGIN…personality!” But that’s exactly what happened. One minute I’m sitting in the dentist office….trying not to fall apart because I have to get my teeth pulled, and the next minute I am being asked if I would like to go out sometime! And again…it hit me…there are still decent human beings in the world. Ones that are genuinely good people, that are not as superficial like the rest of our society.


It is SUCH a breath of fresh air.


To feel like SJS is not the only thing someone notices about me. To know it’s not the only thing that makes me special. To know it’s not the only reason why people love me. It’s things like this that give me strength to find my second wind while running this crazy race!


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