the journey of a butterfly

khaliah's journey with sjs/ten


The Butterfly Blog

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I hope you enjoy reading about my journey and learn more information about SJS/TEN.  


He will do IMMEASURABLY more...

By Khaliah, Jun 21 2014 05:29AM

So. I am sitting here. At the lake. Trying to find some sanity in this craziness I live in every day. And I am just beside myself at today.

Now last week...was THE worst. And I was PRAYING that He would just send some smiles my way because I was SUFFERING and I was in desperate need of a break.

Now first, let me tell you how to crap hit the fan.

I was getting gas the other evening and my card got declined...which doesn't happen to me...ever...because it USED to happen all too I knew something wasn't right. Long story short, I checked my account on my phone and soon realized that it wasn't a mistake. I had ZERO dollars and last I checked, I had thousands. So OBVIOUSLY something ain't right! I then realized that I was a victim of credit card fraud and I. Was. PISSED. My first words were REALLY GOD...REALLY? Why me...why now when I have already had my heart ripped out and stomped on?

Thankfully, my dear friend Tiffany invited me to go to lake for a few days because I think I would've lost it sitting at home with no money and wallowing in my misery. BLESSING #1.

So I called the bank and of course they were not helpful. They told I had to wait seven days. SEVEN DAYS???? Who the hello kitty can go without money for seven days???? Ok... #firstworldproblems...plenty of people go without money everyday but y'all know what I mean!!! But I decided (actually more like didn't have a choice) to just deal with it when I got back from the lake.

So today, my mom texts me and tells me that she called the bank and by the grace of God, all my money was put back in my account. BLESSING #2.

I was SOOOOO relieved and PRAISING him because I was shocked that it happened that quickly. After that I was happy again. All was right in my world. And I thought that was it. But nooooo. Let me tell you how good my God is.

Since I have been well enough to really hang out with my friends (not just sit on the couch and cry lol) I have been praying for someone who truly understands what I am going through. Not that my friends aren't great....they are amazing! But my hearts desire was to have someone who had experienced what I went through, what I am going through. As much support as I have had through this journey, no one can truly understand how I feel.

I checked my email and saw that I had an email from someone from an SJS support group. I called the guy and talked to him and he informed me that his wife had recently battled SJS and that he knew of another girl around my age, who lived in my area, who got SJS from taking Lamictal...just like me. He gave me her number and we started texting, and I swear it's like I'm talking to myself!!! This girl's story is almost identical to mine. I. Was. Floored. BLESSING #3

And just when I thought things couldn't get any better, my mom texted me and told me that her company sent me a check to pay for these very expensive custom wigs that I have wanted. OOOOOOOMMMMMMGGGGGGGG!!!! BLESSING #4

And THEN I got a message from an old friend form college telling me that she wanted to write a blog post about what an inspiration I have been to her throughout my ordeal. I have never been more humbled I know it sounds crazy but I struggle with feeling like I matter to other people and that I truly make a difference. I was so blessed to read the words of someone who has been changed by my story. I love when I get to see the fruits of my labor. I want nothing more than for my testimony to bless other peoples life. That is the only thing that makes going through hard stuff worth it. And today, I truly felt like an inspiration. BLESSING #5

And then to top it all off, I saw the most beautiful sunset while sitting in my hammock, which anyone who knows me knows how I feel about sunsets. A beautiful sunset can change my entire mood. And it did. I went from happy to elated! BLESSING #6

And that was when I realized that God absolutely keeps His promises. I have been very interested in Gods promises lately. I know that He will always keep His promises but I wasn't exactly sure what His promises were. So I started searching for verses about His promises. And the first one that I found was 2 Corinthians 4:8. And it spoke to me directly! These words express exactly how I have been feeling. Broke by my troubles, confused, hurting...a mess! But He promises that we will be broken but not destroyed. Pressed down but not crushed. This world will try to kill you but He will never abandon you. And despite feeling like my prayers just hit the ceiling, today proved that HE HEARS ME! My prayer last week was just to have a reason to smile, and He gave me MULTIPLE reasons to smile! I just wanted my money back and He did MORE! It amazes me that He thinks enough of me to bless my whole day, my whole week, my whole LIFE!

The second promise I found was 1Cor. 4:7-9 which pretty much sums up my life right now. Since SJS came in a wrecked my life, Ihave felt like I was being tortured in every angle! If it wasn't my appearance, it was my inability to walk...if it's not that, it's the difficulty eating and swallowing. WHAT HASN'T been bullied and tortured by SJS is a better question. God doesn't promise that we won't experience hardship, BUT He does promise that it will not break us! He will never abandon us and we will not be destroyed by this life!

These are the moments I live for. To see God show up and show out when I feel like all hope is lost...UH-mazing. Simply amazing.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. (Ephesians 3:20, 21 NIV)

We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. (2 Corinthians 4:7-9 NLT)

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